Elijah is named after his great-grandfather, Josh’s paternal grandfather, Harold Zapin:

• Elijah.  A prophet in Jewish tradition best known as the spirit that attends every  Passover Seder, has a rich folklore with a strong association with joy.   It is said that when dogs are happy for no reason, it is because Elijah is in the neighborhood.  Grandpa Harold embodied joy: he sang all the time, danced like Fred Astaire, and was always the one that made strangers feel the welcome when they came into the Zapin fold.  We want Elijah, like his great-grandfather, to embody that spirit of Joy
• Hudson.  The “H” comes directly from Grandpa Harold’s first name.  “Hudson” is also the river that connects the two great states, New York and New Jersey, where Josh and Marni were raised.

To see pictures, go to: http://bit.ly/photoselijahbirth

If you’re interested in sending us a meal (not necessary, but much appreciated), Marni’s friend Margo has set up a Food Tidings list where you can sign up to bring over a meal.  Check it out at http://bit.ly/foodtidings4marninjosh

Meal dates start after the grandparents are in town.

We love calls, visits, and, most importantly, your love!

• New look and feel – We’re using WordPress now.
• New functionality – you can now easily add comments on our posts
• New Photo Gallery – We’ve signed up with Picasa, Google’s photo gallery site, to host our pictures.  Why?  Because it’s much easier to use and maintain for us.  Not to mention, it hosts videos (!).  You can get to it by clicking the Photos link above or going to http://picasaweb.google.com/marninjosh

And finaly (drumroll please), we have a new Zapin coming in June.  Yes, we’re with child.  More details to come.

His name is Avery Brooklyn Zapin.

Vitals:

• August 10, 2006 @ 11:24 AM
• 21" long, 7.0 lbs
• Brown hair and lots of it.
• Named after his great grandfather Abraham (Marni's grandfather who was also my Rabbi (Kass) religious teacher)
• Middle name is because Dad was raised in Brooklyn and Mom lived there after college.

Story of the Birth

 I'll leave out the gruesome details. But here is a brief synopsis:

Around 10:00 PM on the 9th, Marni and I took Traveler for a walk.  Marni complained that she felt crampy but that it didn't feel like a contraction.  I said that it was probably a contraction.

11:00 PM, Marni said she was having serious contractions.  They were erratic, some 8 minutes apart, some 3 minutes. But over two hours, they were getting longer, more intense, and shorter in between

1:00 AM We go to the hospital.  We confirm that they were real and that she was 5 cm dialated already!  Wow.  This kid is coming and fast.

 6:00 AM fully dialited.  Pushing begins.  Marni, at this point, was totally natural taking only a little sedative to take the edge off.  Pushing starts, but no movement by the baby.  We decide to go for the epidural to see if it helps things move along.  We get it, but it doesn't help.

Around 11:00 AM we go in for a C-Section.  A few minutes later, Avery appears.

Mom (and Dad and Avery) are tired, but in good shape and doing well.

Click here if you want to see some photos.

As I write this, we are but a few weeks away from the due date (August 6th).  Yikes

We are almost ready to enter that quintessiential American tradition of the Birth process: Buying loads of crap

Marni and I have been really fortunate: we have tons of great friends who have been giving us LOADS of stuff.  We already have:

• A Crib (Thank you Karon and Rob)
•  Bottles (Thank you Eliza and Charlie)
• Clothes/clothes and more clothes
• And lots more. 

Stil, there's stuff that we need to get and we have so many kind folks who want to buy us stuff (Thank You!).  So that you buy us what we need, we've set up a few registries.  They are as follows:

Target Baby Center

Most of our Baby stuff is here.  Target is in Boulder, and their stuff is reasonable and, often, really cool. 

Babies R Us 

 Babies R Us is one of the scariest places on the planet.  These huge cathedrals of American commerce have everything you can imagine ever buying (and lots of stuff you wouldn't) for your little tyke.  They are scary and maybe a form of purgatory on Earrth.  Still, they have some stuff we can't find anywhere else.

REI (Recreational Equipment Inc)

Being outdoor freaks, we're going to be dragging the baby outdoors at our earliest opportunity.  We'll need a new tent, a baby backpack, a Yakima rack, and lots of other outdoorsy stuff.

Moola 

You could also just send $$$. Besides wanting to buy stuff on CraigsList and garage sales, we are also starting a college fund for our baby (you don't even want to think how much college is going to cost in 2023!).  We have a great Financial Advisor who will make sure that our money will grow as our little baby does.

Click here for our mailing address.  

Now that we're in the final throes of pregnancy, the next big question for Marni and me: What direction is our kid facing?  In the natural birth world, the best answer is facing down.  That’s right: head first, kamikaze style into this crazy world.  Up to this point, the kid has been pretty much been floating around in Marni’s stomach, doing somersaults and loopity loops.  Since he/she was so small, he/she could do it.  In fact, it’s normal.

But, now, the kid is 17+ inches long (and growing exponentially every day) and really doesn’t have much room to move around.  He/she needs to be in position fast. 

(BTW – If the kid is not in the right position, known as breached, it’s not the end of the world: modern medicine still pretty much guarantees a healthy normal baby but a harder delivery.)

Today, we found out that Little Z is right where he/she should be: upside down.  

The doctor even showed me: I felt around Marni’s lower stomach to feel the head, felt the tush in her upper stomach, and even felt the foot towards Marni’s left side.  It was incredible!  It was an amazing Zen like moment: I touched my kid for the very first time.

And, he/she was right where he/she should be!

Rock On, Little Z!  See you in 8 weeks…

OUCH! That, in a nutshell is what a contraction feels like. OUCH!

That's what Marni and I had to do it in our birthing class last night. The experience was shocking, distressing, panic inflicting. 

"Holy shit!  Is this is what it's going to be like?"  It was our first "taste" of birth, and it was tough.

But, experiences like the ice bath is what birthing class is about: Preparing ourselves for the inevitable.  Humans, Jan has told us, just aren't good at dealing with pain.  When dog bitches (that's the "technical" term for birthing dog mothers) they go into a corner, grin and bear the pain, and pop up 4-5 little ones.  Humans, because of their self-awareness, focus on the pain and do everything in their power to stop it (eipdural anyone?).  Dogs don't.  The deal with it, pop up the puppies and move on.

Still, we're not dogs, so, how are we supposed to deal with it?

It's all about breathing, relaxing, and, working through the pain.  Jan explained to us that contractions, while painful, are doing what they're supposed to do: positioning the baby to be pushed out.  It's an amazing process, but it inflicts a lot of duress on the body.  With today's marvelous medical technology, there is still no better, safer way to deliver a child.

Jan instructed us on some breathing techniques and other tips to help us deal with pain, working hard not to focus on it.  The pain, while always being there, doesn't have to be a focal point: it can be there, but other things can be the focus.

"Let's try the ice again," Jan told us.  We knew this was going to happen.  Will we get through it?  Will it still hurt like hell. "This time, try not to focus on the pain.  Coaches, help the mother through it.  Breathe, talk, do whatever you need to get through it."  Can we do that? Will I be a good coach?  Will I get Marni through it?

"Okay. Get ready.  Contraction."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.  Alright, it sucks, but we don't have to think about it.  "Let's talk through it honey," I told Marni. 

When I looked at her and saw that she was smiling and giggling and cringing at the same time.  It was at that moment I realized yes, the pain sucks, but maybe the process can be fun?  Maybe we can have fun at labor?

Then, we started singing:

What can't we face?
If we're together?
What's in this place
That we can't weather?

This is the rousing chorus to "What We Can't Face" in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode "Once More, With Feeling" (7th episode of season 6).   We had just seen the show a few days earlier and were simply blown away by it.  The episode is a masterpiece.  Not only are the tunes catchy and fun, but also poignant (What We Can't Face talks both about how Buffy's "gang" can defeat the demon who is causing Sunnydale to be under a musical spell because they've done stuff like this before) and had a sneaky way of progressing the story arc  too (the same song highlights a theme for Buffy in that she's being doing this demon bashing for 6 years and is trying to find the meaning in her life).

The song, while stupid, and relatively insignficant to the "labor" task at hand brought us (remember, my hands are in the ice too) to a different place, a fun place.  Something better than the pain we were experiencing at that very moment.  Almost magically, the pain seemed to go away.

"Contraction, over," Jan told us.

"That wasn't as bad," Marni said.

"No kidding.  And that soundtrack is going to be played," I suggested.

I guess Buffy does have a new purpose in life.  Getting us through labor. 

More importantly, I think I just passed my first test of being a birth coach.